Buzz's Bedtime Stories

Bill and Hillary! Tonight Buzz’s Bedtime Stories centers on Bill and Hillary! Pour a beverage, cuddle up and read along. We were on our way to a Washington, DC fundraising event one night. As the motorcade pulled into the hotel loading dock area, I knew it was going to be a bad night when I noticed the Clintons going back and forth in the limo. They were animated and arguing in the backseat…and taking their time. After a very pregnant pause, the president, the first lady, two Secret Service agents, the WH doctor, and I crowded into the loading dock elevator on our way to the party on the top floor of the hotel. Apparently, Mrs Clinton had just received some bad news about the Whitewater investigation and being denied immunity and she was blaming her husband. As soon as the elevator doors closed, she exploded at the president spewing four-letter words like a machine gun. Every vulgar word you’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard them all as a vet, poured from her mouth: “Goddammit,” “you bastard,” “it’s your fucking fault!” And on and on and on. I, and the football, tried to blend into the walls of the elevator to avoid any collateral damage. I noticed the alarmed glances of the agents and the doctor. We were just along for the ride. Bill looked a beaten puppy. He put his head down and said, “Yes, I understand. Yes, dear, I know.” The president, embarrassed, placated her as best he could between the volleys of expletives. He knew better than to fight back. We all did. We reached the top floor and the elevator doors opened onto a crowded hallway for our arrival. Immediately, Bill and Hillary clasped hands, pulled out the fake smiles, and waved in unison. Same old bullshit. The agents, the doctor and I just looked at each other, rolled our eyes, and sighed. Just another day in the Clinton White House.